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5 Ways Sex Pressure From Men Kills Female Desire

5,048 total views, 5 views today

Sex in a committed relationship is said to be bed-shaking, neighbor-waking and anxiety-freeing. If that’s true, then how come a committed relationship is when many of us stop wanting it?

As many of us know, it only takes one partner’s focus on an actual or anticipated sexual dysfunction to disconnect both during the act. It might even affect their desire in the future.

Men who ejaculate in 1.9 seconds may even condition their romantic partners to become sexually inert and unenthusiastic to compensate for their lack of sexual mastery. Whether we’d like to admit it or not, the partner with the least desire for sex, always controls the frequency and quality of sex.

Let’s look at a stereotypical relationship. For instance using names of James and Marie. James wants sex three times a week, but Marie prefers sex every 10 days. This indifference typically causes 5 basic problems. These problems, like an avalanche, buries erotic desire in a committed relationship.

1) Women Are More Sexually Active Before the Relationship.

Despite marriages offering emotional security, the increasing value of one’s partner challenge sexual desire . Unfortunately, the comfort of letting someone into your heart tends to turn couples into approval-seeking robots rather than erotically exploring partners. As James pressures Marie to “spice up” sex, Marie loses the desire to even try. So James tries to make Marie want sex.

2) Make Woman Want Sex.

As a man, we have been culturally conditioned that being a “good lover” reinforces our masculinity in the same way a boy allegedly becomes a man when he “scores” sex for the first time. This conditioning has taught James that his sense of self comes from part of his sex life. As a result, he “needs” Marie to respond to his sexual advances in order to validate his masculinity.

When James was a bachelor, he measured his self-worth by how many women desired him and how aroused they became when they were with him. here is a valuable message all men need to hear about female sexual desire: Women are not interested in having sex with their partners when their partner is more interested in using sex to demonstrating prowess rather than cultivate intimacy.
As James struggled to understand Maries sexual disinterest, he blamed her gender training. He told her she was sexually inadequate instead of confronting his feelings of sexual inadequacy. His blame blinded him to the truth about himself.
So when Marie doesn’t respond to his advances, he attacked her.

3) Blaming Woman.

As James blames the lack of sex on Marie’s low desire, Marie is less inclined to open up her erotic book. Never has blaming someone for not having the capacity to be sexual ever motivated someone to be more sexual. As James attempts to make Marie want sex (and him), she wants it less. James’s accusations have forced her into a sexually defeated corner regarding her sexual ability, desire, and initiations.

There was no way for Marie to gain sexual “status” by increasing her sexual desire, because any success would validate that James was right. Not to mention James acts as if hurting Marie’s feelings will make her more likely to have sex with him. It does quite the opposite.

4) Woman Is Unmotivated To Improve Sex.

With very little to gain and very little to lose, Marie is unmotivated to improve sex. She has already forfeited her sexual competence to his blame game. As Marie becomes more closed off from sex, James begins to fear looking inadequate. This fuels his desperate attempts to keep her interested in sex.

5) Man’s Dependence Makes Him Powerless and Less Desirable.

In a relationship like this women often have a paradoxical experience. They feel inadequate, yet powerful.
When Marie was angry with James, she could jerk James’s leash by not responding, turning him into a needy boy desperate to validate his masculinity. When she wasn’t angry, his little boy neediness was unattractive. His pressure to increase Marie’s sexual desire made him powerless. It pushed their relationship into sexual gridlock.

Frequent invitations allowed Marie to remain passive. She could have as much sex as she wanted, when she wanted, without ever initiating it.
James, like many men, was totally dependent on what the woman did. While men are to blame for this, so are women, because the woman in this context is conditioning her man to badger her for sex. A relationship always takes two to tango.
The solution requires an uncomfortable effort from both partners. It requires personal growth. The man must learn how to hold on to himself in times of a disinterested partner, while the woman must learn how to boldly explore her sexuality and rebel against shame or cultural norms. The man needs to break free from the shackles that his masculinity is defined by his sexual performance.
Both partners need to learn how to stop being slaves to the perceptions of other people. It requires taking on self worth issues so we can feel better about ourselves to feel less defective. To become a master of our wild erotic sexuality. Pressuring our partners to measure up to our sexual standards is not a way to have more sex.

Low sexual desire is a signal for both partners to grow. It’s a calling in the lack of passion that’s encouraging you to reach your highest potential as a lover and person. Sexual mastery is not a journey for the faint of heart. It requires facing anxiety, self-worth issues, and overcoming perceptions that disinhibit our sexuality. Release the pressure to measure up sexually and rise to the challenge of mastering yourself.

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Lifestyle

Signs That Your Relationship Is Going Down The Drain

13,005 total views, 10 views today

You have been so in love with your partner that your friends are envious, been so good to each other that argue less than compatriots. However, of late you don’t understand the turn taken by the relationship. According to experts, if your seeing signs such as these ones then consider your relationship done.

He or she is constantly annoyed of you
Your partner used to be very cheerful and enthusiastic spending time with you however not the case of late, he or she is very moody and it feels like he or she is angry with you but you don’t what you did wrong.

Limited communication

You used be that couple that told each other everything no matter the extent and magnitude, however, you feel neglected and ignored, your partner says less and would rather do something else rather than talk to you, he or she is always distracted when your talking to them and it feels forced.

Escalating arguments

According to experts, arguments are the most healthy way to solve issues and in fact it’s deemed natural for couples to argue and fight, however, of late arguments and fights are rather prevalent and quickly turn physical even violent that even minor issues could escalate into the biggest fight.

You think he or she is cheating.

You trusted your partner 100% and quickly laughed off any rumors in fact any one who knew you as a couple could downgrade the rumors. However, it’s not the case any more, rumors are so often, he or she has become very secretive midnight calls, over passworded phone is and he or she is always asking you for privacy.

He or she avoids skin ship

Way back, you were the most envied couple as you had episodes of PDIs (Public display of Intimacy) kissing in club, walking hand in hand and couldn’t seem to keep each others hands off each other however, that doesn’t happen any more, it seems like he or she is avoiding skinship, touches you less and less and it feels like its uncomfortable.

No sex

This is a deal breaker, u haven’t had sex in like forever yet way back, you had sex every time you were behind closed doors. Yes, there is some healthy sexual tension in every relationship. However, you feel it’s not the case, he or she is always giving excuses and they can’t seem to end.

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Lifestyle

How Miss Karamoja Ayen Is Fighting To Take Karamojong Kids Back Home

10,769 total views, 10 views today

By Samuel Frencha

Miss Tourism Karamoja 2018, Emily Ayen, over the weekend gave back to the street kids staying in Katwe Surbub as part of her move to lure them back to Karamoja.

In partnership with ‘Bring A Smile’ a non governmental charity agency created by youth from different parts of the country, she managed to offer some food stuff, sanitary pads and other basic materials to the young kids plus participating in general cleanliness activities.

Miss Karamoja Emily Ayen (middle) during her charity in Katwe

The reigning Miss Tourism Karamoja, who hails from war torn apart Northern Uganda, says the goal of this initiative is to have a smiling generation of young ladies achieve their dreams amidst the limited resources.

“We  want to be a rising sun on the landscape of a place we call home and take good care of it by making people smile within and else where”Ayen asserted.

Emily, who deeply interacted with some of the kids unfolded that some of them have been victims of child trafficking and have found themselves with no choice but to resort to begging and commercial prostitution as a way of raising income to help their families.

And she purports that through charity, a difference can be made.

I believe that giving charity to the Karamojongs back home will give them no reason to come to the city to beg and also those in the city when they see people at home receiving more than what we offered them will be motivated to go back home.

In the long run, i also want to support the young ladies to take part in craft making. Karamoja beads are so beautiful that if they can make many of them, they will not only earn a living but will also become occupied to think of commercial sex as an option” – Ayen said.

She urged for support from well wishers towards her fundraising activities which she reckons are aimed at changing lives of these kids.

For instance this Easter, we intend to have a “Tour Karamoja Educate A Child Trip” aimed at fundraising tuition for the children we interacted with and are willing to go back to school. We also intend to conduct a cleaning campaign too because health is paramount and above all we want to put and end to the trafficking of our people for labour and sex that has become rampant” – She said.

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Lifestyle

Pastor Lukau Admits Resurection Of Dead Man Was Stage Managed

7,111 total views, 14 views today

Controversial South African preacher Alph Lukau has confessed that the resurrection of a dead man was stage managed.

Alph Lukau addressed his Alleluia International Ministries church for the first time on Sunday since a video emerged of a man being resurrected and sitting up in a coffin.

According to Eyewitness News, Lukau told his congregation that miracles are not appreciated.

“When we speak about miracles, we are talking about something that has gone beyond the rationalizations of what we accept as norms.”

Pastor Lukau regretted the whole ordeal in an interview with Power FM’s Drive host, Thabiso Tema.

“Before entering the premises of the church, the coffin began to shake, meaning the person was alive. I am really sorry for the misrepresentation of facts, the man was not dead and has never been in the mortuary as we earlier said,” Mr. Lukau explained.

At the time when the scandalous resurrection occurred, Lukau said he was on his routine duty of preaching the gospel like any other Sunday when he was interrupted and told that a dead man in a coffin was brought to the church.

“We are the house of God and I’m just a pastor serving in the house of the Lord. But I am sorry that we didn’t tell people the truth in the first place,” he added.

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